Friday, May 28, 2010

Lamentations Part I

-5/28/63

-Yesterday few things, to-day fewer! this is a beginning.
Why even make a start? so many "slabs of stone" (a walk)- Built"in the going"-not knowing where the "walk" will tend: a sort of "regulative" journey!
Already I see the problems I'll have to solve, come to grips with- or to put it another way: this venture whose outcome I haven't the faintest notion of , is pre-determined in that the "events" contained in the future (on-moving) days are so determined to be so: that is adjectivally unknown.
The day went along pretty smoothly. No "recordation" without eyes! It was however, overcast - sun-less?
Strange that I now find myself in a position to jot down thoughts and it doesn't even matter if there's a lack of "logicality" to their reasons for "coming up" in expression (utterance?).
What may be important is that 3 days from now I will be able to see how far I've gone this time - which is to say if this movement is within me or if it's an attribute of the object that "continually" impinge upon me, or both!- There's little reason in this direction (or for that matter and direction). Did Marx delight me to-day? - I'd like to go away somewhere- anywhere away from this N.Y. - pernicious place - dirty kids in the streets - old men in the parks - there isn't much joy to be had in walking, sitting when even the air of this city is "quick" with the reverberations of "plaintive wails". Has Marx really written a Paradiso in his they shall arise from such separateness into a higher and gerforce a more excellent form to complement his inferno? - I find myself immured - is it raining? A letter from Will: all about rain - he says he's been denied spring! I think spring resembles the "imperceptibility of growth" we've all I guess been denied spring! for all time!-

Courtesy, The Fales Library, Special Collections, New York University.

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