Wednesday, October 6, 2010

8/25/64

For me it's all a question of this: to master a body of historical data, and then to marshall it against a background everywhere suffused thru with "memory's ease is in the gradual decentralization of grades".
I must make the journey myself - also a guide is needed for me too; at least until the time when the impediments are stilled and the movement can be straight and each movement of the long song should be no longer than 150 lines: that is it should move from a 120 to 150 (this is not a law to be enforced what in trying to be stressed is that the song should not run so long that it can't be sung) - the form of each movement depends upon this: adjectionally unknown " that is if we begin in mind this: ....necessary and contingent are consequent upon being as such...

8/27/64
Back home after a morning of teaching and part of an afternoon of talk - does it do any good to speak of one's deepest ideas? after a while it seems as if we're talking to woods and cliffs rather than to a man: in one's leave talking echo's his ambiance.
Glad to-night's my last teaching chore there (better to keep it that impersonal) so out of the way, and the students don't seem to be too interested - not wholly their fault. They've been ill-trained for many years.
This month has been difficult, but tempered in that I've been away from the reportorial one - and that's much to be thankful for!
The carpenters continue to work on the house across the way: their sound along with the cicadas constitutes the afternoon's.
9/1/64
"God's on my conscience, not the diabolical distorter's of the Roman universal.
A day of blind alleys - running up to illusions only to find out they're a way of knocking you down.
Sometimes it's good for us to sit in the dark - to ponder? yes, in that we look toward the hills.
Claudia's blossoming each day should go downtown to morrow to get some film (right to have it recorded we've no camera - it's been given to us for a short time: good for now; maybe later on I'll have enough money to buy one - true they're of no interest when you're alone and me during our childless years were too poor to afford other things let alone a camera, but now the new live relation demands a movement from us that can leave no passage thru life unrecorded - we're eager to hold the memory!) retain each image before it slips away.
I'm at peace here as long as I'm not pressured by "the reportorial one" and the ambiance which he represents.
Again there's no argument with this land - true, the easy it's cultivated can deflect the movement of the will toward the Gift, but as before we take the factor into account and slip by.
9/2/64
The sun's out - obviously due to Claudia's feeding. She's one month old today.

1 comment:

  1. "I'm at peace here as long as I'm not pressured by "the reportorial one" and the ambiance which he represents."

    I think I know that "reportorial one" all too well!

    I wonder if by Gift the poet meant traditional Catholic 'grace' or something more akin to Levinas's notion of the "face-to-face" encounter? Is God or the human specified here? The reference to "this land" suggests also a "good stewards" role for poet or ethical persons.

    Interesting, interesting entry.

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